To fell in love with a woman or a man, who is living in another country can happen really easily today. Whether you met your love while travelling, living abroad for your studies or met at an online platform… after a while, maybe months or years, you will have to fell a decision. So it comes to the point, that one of you is getting an expat.
Today we asked Sima to tell her story. She moved for love reasons from India to Germany.
Sima is an Indian recruitment consultant, Matthias a controller. She has a masters degree from the university. Whether her degree is recognized in Germany, she did not know. She speaks English fluently, German only a few phrases.
Experience abroad is good for the career, according to HR managers. What happens when you fall in love, hardly anyone thinks about it. According to the Federal Statistical Office, 1.2 million bi-national couples live in Germany with marriage certificate. Then there are the unmarried – and the many couples who try and fail. For while other fresh lovers are discussing which movie they want to see in the evening at the cinema, bi-national couples must make big decisions: In which country do we want to live? Who is ready to move? To Rio, London or Hamburg?
Perception vs. reality
When Sima arrived in Germany, she was euphoric. “I had no idea what it would be like,” she says. “I thought: I’m smart, I have a good education, I quickly learn the language and just apply.” She had no idea that it would be difficult to find a job in Germany. It was not clear to her how long the German winter is and that the mentality of the German people is just completely different. She had no idea how difficult it would be to learn German: “I was in love and also somewhat naive.”
The new life
The job search was going slowly. For nearly two and a half years, she worked in a cafe. Often they sat together in the evening and calculated whether the money would last. But Sima made contacts, visited expat meetings and learned the language. She found an Indian community and was also applied successfully to a company.
Today Sima and Matthias are married, happy and live together in Germany, as a family. Sima is pregnant and expacting her first son.
Sima knows how exhausting such a new beginning is. When she thinks back to the last four years, she says, “I often felt helpless.”
Giving up his old life is hard, “But it’s worth every effort!” She says.
Advice for multi-cultural couples?
Matthias looks up and says, “Do not give up, talk to each other and share your fears.”
“And sometimes it is better to act to your instinct and to dare something than to give the head first,” Sima adds mildly smiling.